The History
 Please note before reading: This story is a personal account by the founder, and does not express…well…what we mean to say is…Johnny’s just a guy’s guy, so if his words offend any of y’all…we’re awfully sorry!
It all began around age 15. My mother asked me to cook some steaks on the grill. Being such a young man, I did not realize the authority and command that came with that request, but when I saw the satisfaction on my family's faces after they tasted those perfectly prepared steaks, I immediately became a Keeper. Now not everyone sees things in the same light, but I will do my best to tell you the story, and to keep me in check is my Aunt Brenda…I think she’s a Keeper, too!
So we begin…
Years after that first night of grilling steaks for my family, on a cold December night in 2002, about 20 of my closest guy and girlfriends and I went on a camping trip.
The Woman Behind the Story Aunt Brenda says: Now Johnny…this is a mixed group. I don’t think it’s entirely appropriate that you were out camping together at “night”
Well…there we were camping in December - in Texas – it’s the only way to go. No bugs, no heat…just a grill, camp fire, and great friends. My main man, Josh, was able to get a hold of a grill that sat up on a trailer with a smoker and prep tables...simply the best darn grill I have ever seen.
Aunt Brenda says: Johnny…darn looks like a bad word when it’s printed like that… I know dam is not the correct spelling for the cursing word, but I just wanted to point this out…lots of people don’t know how to spell.
So, like I was saying…
Being Southern gentlemen, we did everything...we started a fire, we got all of the tents and all the chairs set up, and then of course we began to cook. After all…we are the Keepers Of the Grill (KOG)…even if we didn’t know it at that moment. No more than 30 minutes till everything was ready, three or four of our lovely lady companions
Aunt Brenda says: COMPANIONS?? Oh my gosh!! I thought they were your friends!! Honestly Johnny…that sounds more like they were escorts than friends…
Sorry ‘bout that…I mean my friends…that are girls…walked their pretty little selves up to the grill
Nice try, but you’re still not getting it are you? “Pretty lil’ selves” has got to GO!
Uh…my friends…who are girls…walked over to the grill…
Much better Johnny…
Well…they walked over to the grill, snatched the grilling fork out of Josh's hand,
Please use a word other than "snatch"
Well they DID! And they started pokin' at the meat and givin' orders!
JOHNNY!! I’m sorry, but "poking at the meat" can give some people the giggles, especially when it so closely follows the word "snatch"
I’m going to pretend my Aunt didn’t just say that….
As I was saying…they started giving orders regarding the preparation of this meal. Now, I’m a pretty laid back fella but, I have to admit...I LOST IT!!
These words in all caps "I LOST IT" makes you sound like you need anger management classes. I know you are a loveable guy, but the person reading this might not know that so well.
I didn’t really yell Aunt Brenda…I’m just saying it was annoying and for those people out there who have had that happen to them, should know that feeling!
Oh that’s just great…now every man with anger management problems is going to join you and wear your product……is that what you want?
Uh…I think we’re getting distracted…
Look, for those of you who have had this sort of thing happen, you know what I had to do!
I had to stop the presses. Of course I did this in the most CALM and loving manner possible. "WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Ladies, do we come into your kitchen and tell you how to prepare what you're cookin’? (Just so you know, I gracefully snatched the grilling fork right back out of the culprits hand)
Uh oh! There’s that word again…snatch…what are you thinking?
Right…what I said was, “Do we even come into your kitchen without your permission?
Aunt Brenda rolls her eyes: So you’re implying that the "kitchen" is for women only….very chauvinistic!! Shame on you Johnny!
UH…well…what I meant was I simply wanted us to serve the Ladies after we cooked for them. Wouldn’t any woman prefer to be waited on?
Aunt Brenda sighs deeply: Any "one" would like to be waited on, not just women.
Right! So I politely and CALMLY and lovingly said, “Please, take your pretty little selves back on over to the campfire, and let us prepare this meal for you. Go on...get on back over there! Just go and relax and be blessed!"
Aunt Brenda….blinks twice…and is speechless: you have just injected religion into your story…. "Be blessed"….. It’s lovely to say this…but in combination with the items and words I have pointed out above such as "darn/dam, lovely lady companions, snatch/snatched, poking at the meat, I LOST IT, pretty little selves" you are combining sexual overtones with religion, it’s odd to say the LEAST!
But somehow…it works for me…so…
As I am guiding them down the trailer and away from the grill,
TRAILER?? There was a trailer there? Once again you’re insinuating something else is going on this particular "night.”
No Aunt Brenda…like I said earlier, the pit was ON a trailer! So I guided them…CALMLY, lovingly, RESPECTFULY off the trailer. As I did so, I could hear from the back ground, my GUY friends yelling "RIGHT ON!" and a very hearty "keep off my grill!" Then it happened! It came out of the Heaven's..."Yeah! We are the Keepers Of the Grill!"
Of course this being a world of acronyms, we shortened it down a bit, to KOG. Now we, and all the other Keepers out there, are part of something bigger. A state of mind…a KOGNation!
Are you a Keeper? A Keeper is anyone who grills, anyone who likes to eat good food made on the grill, and a Keeper is definitely anyone who loves a Keeper, too!
Well…I guess that makes me a Keeper, cause I sure love you Johnny…it’s a good story after all.
Thanks Aunt Brenda and thanks to all of you out there for reading our story. This is KOGNation signing off and reminding you…Don’t let the heat control the meat!
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